Archive | July 2016

Listen Live! CPKC Radio 1380 AM

Hi Friends!

Tonight is an exciting night for my husband and I.  We will be featured on a live call-in show :  Mini & Friends on CPKC Radio out of Brantford, Ontario 1380 AM on the dial.  It is in promotion of our story of coping with Infertility.  Our story was published in 2015, EMPTY HANDS TO OPEN ARMS:  From Infertility to Possibility.  Listen online at  and click on Listen Live!  The Show is live tonight from 10:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. EST  Hope to hear you there!

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Starting Each Day Right


Each day begins with a single thought.  The Alarm!  Turn it off!  Or Oh great, I have to go to the bathroom.  Or Oh how pretty – birds!  Or  Oh how annoying – birds!  

Within moments of waking thoughts begin to flow in succession as your brain begins to process what day it is.  A work day?  A day off?  What’s the plan today?  A flurry of activity can bombard your brain as the contents of your memories and information once again begin to process.  If you do not literally control what is the second and third thought of your morning, your mind and emotions that are sure to follow will lead the way into your day.  It isn’t a reality that is necessarily a good thing.  Negative morning thoughts can spiral down to some negative emotions and the grumps.  Who wants to start their day that way?

The Lord Jesus said in Matthew 6 to “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.”  The first focus of our day needs to be God’s Kingdom and how right or justifiable He is.  Often we seek first what we want.  Our life, what we will eat, or drink, about our body, what we will wear ( and the money to purchase them) are specifics of the various things we can tend to worry about as humans.

Humans are the only species that worry.  The birds don’t worry about feather loss. The flowers don’t stress about their attire.  The grass doesn’t get too concerned about it’s hue changing with age.  They are all well provided for in nature designed by God.  These things are the essentials of life, something our Heavenly Father knows we need and lovingly provides.

“…All these things shall be added unto you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about it’s own things.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6: 33-34

In my own waking moments I have begun this practice to put my first, or at least second thoughts upon the Lord, chatting with Him about how great  a day it’s going to be, and then I smile.  Understand that this is done regardless of how I feel.  Start each day with the positive, the reality of all that is good in  your life.  It all comes down to a choice of what you put in your mind!  I wish I had practic ed this in my own struggle with infertility:  a simple choice of thinking and putting God first in my day.  It’s made all the difference!



The Four How Longs- Thoughts from Psalm 13

For any situation…knowing and understanding what the Lord is encouraging you to do is so very helpful… consider the tests so that in the end there is a testimony!

Faith: the next level by Pastor Bob

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The four HOW LONGS- Psalm 13:1-6

In times of delay, contradiction, adversity, trial, and temptation our sense is that the condition may not pass. Our trouble seems large and difficult and all encompassing; looming like a mountain refusing moved. Our hope is all we have in these situations. Faith and hope in God. Psalm 13 records David was in great distress and brings a 4 fold plea to God asking Him “How Long”. His pleas reveal how we are tested in our trials…How long will you forget me? How long will you hide your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

  •  The “Forsaken ” test– How long wilt thou FORGET ME
    • The greatest test of all- My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?- Mat 27:46
    • You…

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Infertility’s Isolation

The drapes are drawn, the sun shines brightly, but for now it’s glow and warmth is held at bay.  The TV mumbles something in the background droning on in its purpose at the moment to drown out the thoughts of helplessness and sorrow.

The pregnancy test still sits in silence, abandoned with a negative result on the bathroom counter where she left it.  She was so sure this time.  All the cues were there and she’d hoped so strongly that this was the moment.  She hasn’t told him yet.  She thinks to herself that she couldn’t bear that look in her husband’s eyes and hear the words, “I’m sorry Honey” once again.

She’s often imagined the scene where she in her private glee, waits for her husband to awake from sleep.  She planned to have the tiny knitted baby nightie and hat lay calmly on the pillow where she usually slept.  Upon waking, he’d see and know immediately that their heart’s longing had been answered.  They’d be parents!  They would embrace until one of them could not hold the squeal of joy one moment more. She imagined the little girl’s sweet sleepy pout at the early morning feedings.  The prophetic pictures of her two-year old wading in the puddles after a winter melt. A funny five-year-old princess that parades and twirls with royal elegance.  Images that now squeeze with a painful ache.  She feels she’s failed again.

Hands cover her eyes as she lets the pain take her again and sobs give release to tears that liberate the pressure in her heart.  She feels so alone.


Isolation and pain seem to go hand in hand at times.

Some individuals can find places in their time alone as an occasion to recharge and find new strength.  This is a healthy practice for the introverts among us.

What is it about the raw emotion and real situations that cause us to retreat and hide from the ones that care about us the most?  Are we still afraid of being that vulnerable?

Where do we find the courage to let others in?  It requires trust and a feeling of being safe in our vulnerability.

Many moments in my life I have found that place of feeling so very alone when facing the infertility diagnosis I was thrust into and I felt no one could understand. I had to come to that place where i could let it go and release that pressure though the scene repeated time and again.  My full story can be found here:  Believe me it was easier to write the book than to live it.

On the other side of my resolution where God intervened and picked me up in my surrender I did finally find the courage to share my struggles and I have found peace. Don’t face infertility in its darkness alone.  Firstly there is Jesus who understands and the Bible says, “feels” the feelings of our pain.  He is praying for you as you agonize in those moments of pain.  Secondly, God has placed many who care and who have a hug and a shoulder to weep with  you, pray with you and are not ashamed of your hurt… many who are not put off by your tears.

Who is she in my mini story above?  She is me.