Whom am I to Become?

Photo Courtesy of Bing Images

Photo Courtesy of Bing Images

Living Child Friendly has given me much to think about.  In one way or another I find myself grateful for the extra time, and the freedom to choose.  I find that my mind is no longer overcome by fears and what ifs and the when and the hows.  I am in the throes of living a quiet contented life.   Living in peace of the stresses of pre-adoption or wondering why my body won’t obey the simple command to multiply and replenish the earth is something I had only hoped for in the past.

This was certainly the time to put all that behind me as I turned 50 this year.  The pain of being called a Grandma when I held the hand of my two-year old charge, or waiting and waiting for yet another delay in the adoption process, are almost forgotten.  I almost wonder if I will forget.

As I am finding new peace in this surrender, I am finding my God.  He is my greatest Friend.  In this process another question rises to the surface of my soul.

Who am I now?

In the past, I was infertile.  Since I am not attempting to conceive, does this condition stick?  I was also pre-adoptive.  Since I am not attempting to adopt, who is this person emerging?

I can live, and I can love, but I am not defined.  I can be whom God is creating me to be and the latter half of my life is full of the potential of anything.

A new identity?  Child Friendly?  This describes my outlook and my way of reaching out from the inside of who I am.

Who am I?  I am His.  The great God-Jehovah holds my hand.


9 thoughts on “Whom am I to Become?

  1. I love this post. We are all so defined by our current situations, or struggles. I have been a stay at home mother to Eva only twice in her life, and those were both times of identity crisis for me. For me, my job usually helps give me definition to the who am I question. Now, with the secondary infertility, I find myself redefining things a bit. And then, with Eva in California, I have a new identity crisis I find. As I have aged a little and gained some wisdom, I’m starting to think who we are is always in flux, changing and evolving to fit who we WANT to be more than who we are, or have been.

    My prayer for you is that you find peace in knowing who you want to be. Everything else will soon follow.


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