Living Child Friendly has given me much to think about. In one way or another I find myself grateful for the extra time, and the freedom to choose. I find that my mind is no longer overcome by fears and what ifs and the when and the hows. I am in the throes of living a quiet contented life. Living in peace of the stresses of pre-adoption or wondering why my body won’t obey the simple command to multiply and replenish the earth is something I had only hoped for in the past.
This was certainly the time to put all that behind me as I turned 50 this year. The pain of being called a Grandma when I held the hand of my two-year old charge, or waiting and waiting for yet another delay in the adoption process, are almost forgotten. I almost wonder if I will forget.
As I am finding new peace in this surrender, I am finding my God. He is my greatest Friend. In this process another question rises to the surface of my soul.
Who am I now?
In the past, I was infertile. Since I am not attempting to conceive, does this condition stick? I was also pre-adoptive. Since I am not attempting to adopt, who is this person emerging?
I can live, and I can love, but I am not defined. I can be whom God is creating me to be and the latter half of my life is full of the potential of anything.
A new identity? Child Friendly? This describes my outlook and my way of reaching out from the inside of who I am.
Who am I? I am His. The great God-Jehovah holds my hand.