“Yes Little J, we are going for a car ride. C’mon, we are a little late.”
Our Tuesday morning routine always included a trip to the EYC (Early Years Centre) a wonderful place where parents (and Nannies) with their children can learn and play.
As we made our way to my vehicle, the sun matched my optomistic outlook on the day. A slight breeze and clear sky projected a perfect morning. Only one small cloud threatened to take it all away.
Arriving just in time for Circle Time, Little J and I found our places on the play rug. The songs and story were always fun and we joined in with jubulant singing. Little J jumped up at its conclusion and headed for the snack room. He scampered ahead of me to find his place at the table settled in with apples and frosted ‘o’s’. Once the small group of children were seated and snacks had been distributed, I settled in with the Mom’s to hold up one section of the wall.
I always loved the rich conversation that I could be a part of with the Mom’s there. Discussions of temper tantrums, how to cut a two year old’s hair and how to get an older sibling’s bubble gum out of the family pet’s fur. These were the discussions of life that could include all participants. Sandra, Mom of 18 month old, Corrinna held a position supporting the cupboard with the sink and nursed her coffee. Debbie, mother of three with 2 1/2 year old Jason, had the habit of chewing nervously on her inner cheek. Today she was tuning in to what Sandra had to say. Today’s discussion, Sandra’s OB (Obsetrician). Oh by the way, all names have been changed.
“I know, I’ve been happy with Dr. Ruby. She was the one who helped me birth Corinna here. With my first, I had the other Doctor.”
Debbie nodded in agreement and quickly saved her son’s frosted ‘o’s’ from dumping to the floor before speaking.
“Didn’t she take over from Dr. Smythe. She was my first OB. She was really nice.”
Sandra shook her head, “I didn’t think she had a lot of personality. I found her hard to relate to.”
“Yeah, she seemed kind of disinterested until it was time to give birth, then she was very nurturing and kind. She came alive then,” Debbie replied.
I had been listening to this conversation with feigned interest and without comment. The next statements had my attention.
Sandra looked at me for a split second and then to Debbie.
“Well, I have to go in to see Dr. Ruby, she has to put in my IUD (intrauterine device, used for contraception)”
Debbie had a smile on her face as she replied, “She put mine in recently. I didn’t feel badly at all.”
I felt badly at that moment. Part of me wanted to cry out, “That is so unfair. There are so many women who would give their left arm to be given the chance to conceive at will and you just dismiss it like a menu option.” I didn’t say a single word, as it’s not my place to comment on the decisions of others. Thankfully Little J was finished and I ushered him out of the snack area toward the play room. The room was darkened by the dark clouds ushering in a thunderstorm only moments away.
I knew the method of contraception using the ‘t’ shaped device was on the rise in Canada. In the 1970’s it received a bad rap for causing inflammitory disease due to a flaw in it’s design. Apprently that has been resolved and deemed fit for use. The effectiveness is apparently only 1 out of 100 women will get pregnant. It sounds like the odds of those experiencing infertility. The Merena, a hormone releasing version ensures that pregnancy cannot occur is covered by most private health insurance plans in Canada. The irony is that an IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) treatment is not covered by private health insurance plans in Canada. It is not considered a medically necessary treatment. Oooo, don’t get me started.
Why do these conversations bring out the right and wrong in me? My inner wisher would like to tell the world that not everyone can handle a conversation like this and I can only imagine how a woman undergoing IVF treatment would be wounded to overhear this natter. Yet I know they are speaking in their innocence and out of their own world view. I would like to world to know, that sometimes it would be nice for a little sensitivity when conversing of such intimacies in public. You never know whom you might hurt.
Thankfully, I wasn’t wounded by this discussion. Little J and I decided that lunch was a far more interesting affair and made our way to Little J’s home.
By the time we parked in the driveway, my sunshine day was gone and the clouds had released their burden.