There are moments in time, where in the deepest place in your memory, you find the joy of a dream fulfilled.
It is October 2003, I am softly awakened, and I remember the joy of the previous four days. All the planning and organization that carried into the wedding was worth all the tension. Our nine-month romance filled our days with phone calls, emails and weeknight dates, only to culminate into long good night talks. My husband and I are newlyweds. I remember the ring, gold and diamond encircling my finger and I smile. It’s still so pretty. I’m still smiling as images and sensations of our first night together fill my mind and my heart with the feeling of being so loved and so cherished.
My eyes open slowly to view this room. This room in a condominium rented as a wedding present (as well as the Maui Honeymoon itself) from in-law’s whom I had barely met.
Looking out the window of our bedroom, I simply drink in the beauty of the Hawaiian foliage as gentle winds and soft early morning rains refresh the exotic flora and tropical palms. The soft rain showers my open window taking care to drop its precious spray directly to the ground. Amazingly the screen remains dry. The window is framed with crème linen in tab fashion that billows in the breeze; each movement introduces a delicious refreshing zephyr.
The walls themselves are a pallet for the color of the beautiful landscape photos of this beloved island. The photos of Maui rare tropical fruit trees, anthuriums and orchids grace the four walls of this room. I had only yesterday admired the painted protea flower on the left far wall. At this moment it is hidden from view. These art pieces invite me to explore the outdoors in the sunshine soon to come. Not just yet.
I turn in our bed as I sense I am alone. The indentation of the pillows those just only hours ago molded to my husband as his head lay there in slumber is all that remains of him, at this moment. The sheets lay rumpled around the place where he had been, but I am not alarmed. The headboard is a beautiful Koa wood low four poster with carved piece forming a high triangular peak. The night stands are a perfect match, two drawers and brass handles. My eyes drift to the dressing table. It has elegance that is unmatched in the curly figure patterns that is so naturally Koa wood.
I remember at this moment that my new husband is on his morning walk to the beach just outside our door. Local Merchants gather the fresh produce and fruit for a daily sale, even in the rain. My husband has left me to rest as he is mindful of our breakfast of toast, eggs Benedict and fresh mango he’d promised. I am at this moment filled with such contentment and anticipation for spending time with my love. What is unknown to the both of us is that in a few short hours tears will spill from my eyes as we discuss the hopes of a family and the realities of infertility. We imagine together what our first born would be named and how we wanted a girl. These are the dreams I remember.